Romantic relationships can be simple; if a guy likes you, you’ll know. If he doesn’t, you’ll be confused. But they can also be very complicated. So complicated, that it’s dangerous to internalize how somebody treats you, because it’s more likely to be about them than it is about you.
I’ve had a man tell me that I’m one of a kind and I knew he meant it. He looked at me like I fell from heaven. Like I was a double chocolate Oreo milkshake. And it wasn’t a sexual thing. I know when a man wants to hook up and when he genuinely likes me. This man looked at me with something akin to awe, and yet he didn’t choose me. He understood how phenomenal I was but it wasn’t enough to make him want to be with me.
So I thought I did something wrong. I worried for weeks. Maybe I came on too strong. Maybe I intimidated him with all my talk about Bugattis. Maybe it’s because I’m celibate. My friend has graciously told me that I’m too hot to expect a man to wait for me. Maybe she’s right.
The maybes continued until recently. Recently I met another guy who looked at me like hot Agege bread. He told me that my smile was bright enough to make the sun jealous. And that he could listen to me talk all day. He said he couldn’t stop staring at my picture because I was too beautiful for words.
Yet, the one who can listen to me talk all day never calls me. And right now as I put these words to paper, he has me waiting by my phone for a response to a message he probably read three hours ago.
So now I know that it’s not me. These men are in agreement that I am an angel walking on earth, but still I’m not what they want. There’s nothing wrong with me, I’m just not what they want. Everybody says Pringles is amazing, but I can’t stand it. No matter how great it is, it’s just not what I want.
So I’m done with the maybes. There’s no point. I’m done making assumptions about why people act the way they do. All I know is that I’m awesome but I will not be everybody’s cup of tea. And that’s fine by me.
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