Jola

Romantic relationships can be simple; if a guy likes you, you’ll know. If he doesn’t, you’ll be confused. But they can also be very complicated. So complicated, that it’s dangerous to internalize how somebody treats you, because it’s more likely to be about them than it is about you.  I’ve had a man tell me […]

There’s a running joke I’ve heard that when a woman is in her 20s, she wants a tall, dark and handsome man. However, when she hits 30, she’ll settle for any man at all. In Nigeria, some men go further by telling girls that if they don’t accept them, they’ll end up on the floor

I used to be the driver of the independent woman train. I did everything myself and hated asking for help. I was very proud of my independence and never missed a chance to announce that all I needed in this life of sin was me, myself and I. That changed in 2020.  In 2019, I

I’ve had my head in the clouds since I was a child. My mum still can’t get over my expensive taste and prissy behaviour. The other day I caught her eyeballing me when I slathered my hands with sanitizer because a vendor opened a packet for me with his teeth. So gross. Anyway, my taste

My brother sent me a video recently and in it was a guy announcing that nobody is above blocking. It was a funny video, made even funnier by the actor’s decision to film beside  a refuse dump. When I was done laughing, I gave some thought to how much easier my life has become since

When bad things happen to us, our first instinct is to ask why me? This is because our emotions try to tell us that everyone else has it easier. I know I sometimes look at people and think “I wonder how it feels to be that lucky.” In my seasons of discomfort, I tend to

I’m not a person who cusses. I believe that cussing shows a lack of creativity. I’m not judging, it’s just my opinion. However, a few years ago I told my supervisor at work to f**k off. I said it in public and I had no remorse. Obviously, I’m on the path of inner peace now,

My parents got married on March 1, 1984. As I made them jollof rice for their anniversary this year, I reminisced on the parts of their marriage I’d been aware of. I’ve spent more time with my parents in the past year than I have in a long time, thanks to COVID, and I realize

I’ve never been able to handle death. The finality of it never registers with me. That’s why when my aunt died of cancer a day after my birthday and in my bedroom, I couldn’t cry.  When my favourite uncle passed away, I attended his funeral but still couldn’t wrap my head around it. He was