Most people have heard of and read the 5 love languages, the book written by Gary Chapman, but just in case you haven’t, I’ll do a quick rundown:
Love language #1: Words of affirmation
Love language #2: Acts of service
Love language #3: Gifts
Love language #4: Quality time
Love language #5: Physical touch
1. Words of affirmation are encouraging and positive words. If this is your primary love language, compliments mean the world to you and insults cut deeper for you than for others.
2. If quality time is your primary love language, you love to receive undivided attention from and spend time on quality activities.
3. Thoughtful gifts are the way to the heart of someone with this as their primary love language. If you love receiving gifts, especially unexpectedly, this is probably your love language.
4. If acts of service are your primary love language, you feel loved when someone does things for you to help ease your burdens or deliver on your responsibilities.
5. Physical touch is a love language that’s expressed through thoughtful touching, holding hands, kissing, caressing, hugging, and sex.
So how can you love yourself with the 5 love languages?
The goal is to fill your own love tank. Walking around with a hungry heart is how we get into sticky relationship situations. If you already know your value and how to meet your own needs, you’re more likely to attract people who are good for you.
Words of affirmation:
You need to learn how to affirm yourself by addressing your greatest insecurities. Pay attention to the negative stories that you tell yourself and reframe them intentionally. If you struggle with body positivity, create mantras that speak to your sense of worth in that area. Your subconscious mind believes and reacts to what you tell it. Get a self love journal and write one thing you love about yourself daily. Be deliberate about saying nice things to and about yourself.
Quality time:
Learn to enjoy your own company. Take yourself out on dates. Go out to watch a nice movie by yourself, try traveling alone. Spending time with others is great but solitude will teach you more about yourself than anything else. People settle for inferior connections because they are afraid of being by themselves. Self awareness is so powerful because the more you understand yourself, the better your life becomes.
Receiving gifts:
If you love gifts, then buy yourself some. Get yourself flowers just because. Buy a luxurious robe and have it gift wrapped and sent to you. Invest in nice perfumes and lingerie. Shower yourself with gifts because you deserve your own love and affection.
Acts of service
It’s great to have others serve you, but you should also prioritize yourself. Check your life for signs of neglect and fix them. Cook yourself a real meal. organize your room, step up and take care of yourself.
Physical touch
For this love language, learn to pamper yourself. For example, you can do a home mani and pedi or give yourself a mini spa day. Also, moisturize your whole body with something aromatic or soak in your tub. Buy nice towels, bedding and comfy clothing that feel like a warm hug or like cuddles.
Loving yourself with the 5 love languages is important because it helps you take charge of your happiness. You are teaching other people how to treat you by the way you treat yourself. No matter how many people you surround yourself with, whether you’re married or single, popular or not, it all comes down to self love.
Your relationship with yourself and your relationship with God are the two most important relationships in your life. You need to nurture them so on the days when you can’t get what you want from others, you’ll still have enough.