It’s hard to love an introvert, I know because I’m one. How do you love someone who wants to be alone most of the time? They don’t pick your calls, almost never want to go out and even when they do, they can’t wait to go back home. First of all, let me apologize on behalf of all introverts, it’s not you, it’s us. It’s not personal and we don’t hate you.
It’s a waste of time to try to change an introvert. Even if they managed to change to please you, they’d be miserable and you’d know. Instead, what you can do is learn to love an introvert just as he/she is. I know it sounds ridiculous and selfish but it’s the only way you can enjoy any kind of relationship with them. So ask yourself, is the connection more important than your ego? If your answer is yes, you can continue reading.
Respect their boundaries
Most introverts don’t like random phone calls, so text before you call to know if it’s a good time to talk. We don’t like surprise visits either. I for one have to mentally prepare myself for somebody’s arrival into my space. So don’t just drop by because you’re in the neighborhood.
Understand their limited capacity for social interaction
Introverts get drained by social interactions. Whenever we go out or engage in long conversations, we need time to recharge. This means that if we spoke for two hours yesterday, you probably shouldn’t expect an equally long conversation today. If I went out with you last weekend and spent the whole day, I’m unlikely to want to hang out again this weekend.
READ MORE: My life would be so much easier if I could just like the people who like me
Don’t take things personal
It’s not you, it’s us. We zone out and forget to reply WhatsApp messages until it’s too late to do so without looking silly. Sometimes we even read the messages but can’t reply because we don’t have the emotional bandwidth to do so. We dodge calls and cancel hangouts because we really don’t have the energy for it at that time. It’s not a testament to your worth as a person. We don’t hate you, we just can’t.
The best thing you can do for an introvert is to understand them and give them space. If you try to force your way in, you’ll get locked out. Yes, a person who loves you should make time for you, but when you’re dealing with an introvert, the rules are different.
So more than anything, if you want to love an introvert without losing your mind, you have to be patient. We’re not perfect, but if you try your best for us, we’ll try our best for you.
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